Compiled by Heidi Reitmeier

Recent articles

RamTalk

It would save me a trip if the buy back trucks just gave me alcohol instead of money for my books. To the girl who spends $20 a week on hairspray: $1040 a year is a lot to pay when your hair still looks stupid. It’s official:, the mannequin in the bookstore change clothes more often than I do. Does anyone else find it ironic that police headquarters is called “Green” Hall, yet they use so much paper giving out tickets? To the freshman I asked to guest pass me today and responded with “what’s a guest pass?”: You just found your new lunch buddy for the rest of the week. May 5, 2010 | 11:11 pm

RamTalk

There’s nothing like watching a chipmunk hump a squirrel to remind me that I’m still not getting laid. I can’t grasp female anatomy from a PowerPoint. May 4, 2010 | 9:45 pm

Dating Pro-Tip: If the cops show up to your first date to talk to the guy you’re with, you should probably consider running away and not talking to him anymore. Dear students: I throw away the papers you turn in at the end of the semester without reading them because the grammar and unoriginality depresses me. If I had an hour left to live, I’d spend it in CO 300 because it feels like an eternity. To the girl who lost one shoe in the girl’s bathroom: I am sorry, but Prince Charming can’t go in there. To the two squirrels mating in front of me: Get a room. May 3, 2010 | 10:55 pm

RamTalk

*Does anyone every worry about what we are all going to talk about if Tony Frank ever shaves his beard? *What exciting gift did CSU decide to give the esteemed Colin Powell? May 3, 2010 | 1:04 am

RamTalk

Was anyone else’s class interrupted by the crazy crossdressing guy who stole people’s essays? Who is that girl singing? Apr 30, 2010 | 12:28 am

RamTalk

To the guy who biked over a squirrel the other day and never even looked back: That’s 10 points. Well done soldier. Having the same Wonderword in the paper two days in the row is kind of like boring sex. Apr 28, 2010 | 10:33 pm

How do people manage to fail at flushing an automatic-flush toilet? A squirrel approached me on campus today as if there was no war and we could be friends. Apr 26, 2010 | 8:50 pm

RamTalk

*This crazy wind has been better than any girl I’ve ever met. It just keeps blowing and blowing. *Waking up to puke on the ceiling and wall just remided me how rough my night was. *I think CSU needs to offer boyfriend training, just like Petsmart has puppy training. Apr 26, 2010 | 8:48 pm

RamTalk

To the two streakers who ran past me on campus: Thanks for the free show. Oh, and happy Earth Day to you too. Boys on Campus: If I can see your nipples through your T-shirt, perhaps it is just chilly enough that you should be wearing a jacket. Is it weird that I smelled the high school students today before I saw them? Two days of rain washing away the plaza chalk: There is something to celebrate on a Friday. Just so we are clear, if you are walking your bike, it doesn’t actually count as biking. To the squirrel by the lagoon staring down the two geese: Don’t do it. Apr 22, 2010 | 10:01 pm

RamTalk

The Student Fee Review Board should change their name to Stupid Fee Raising Buttmunchers. It’s much more fitting, and it can still keep the acronym SFRB, as long as students pay the new acronym fee of course. Apr 20, 2010 | 10:34 pm

RamTalk

To the guy who cleans our hall in Ingersoll who sings his heart out while vacuuming: Don’t try out for American Idol. Anyone notice how creepy computer scientists are? Apr 20, 2010 | 1:22 pm

RamTalk

The only perk to being a double major is double the free printing.
With the way our athletic seasons ended this year, we should stop defending the fort and rebuild it.
To the kid wearing the “Conserve Water, Shower Together” shirt: Smells like you’ve had a rough couple of weeks without a shower partner.
To the girl in my Ethnic Studies class who said she didn’t get a job because “they gave it to some minority”: You should probably stop coming to class, it’s not getting through to you anyway.

Apr 19, 2010 | 10:14 pm

RamTalk

Today at school I bragged about a kill I got on Call of Duty last night. I also accepted the fact that I will probably die a virgin. I think you should get bonus points if you have to take an exam while sitting in a broken chair. If it takes you three people, and 20 minutes, you don’t deserve the good spot. You can now buy a TV that allows you to watch everything in 3-D. Apr 16, 2010 | 2:46 am

RamTalk

To the dude in the LSC bathroom who let out the orgasmic moan while taking a dump: Been there, done that. Thank you Collegian for reminding me how alone I am. Apr 14, 2010 | 11:24 pm

RamTalk

To the girl who flipped backward out of her chair onto the floor in the library: Your dignity is sitting under the table next to where your head hit the ground. Apr 13, 2010 | 11:52 pm

Watching my roommate interact with women is so much more entertaining than Animal Planet. I don’t understand the argument between pop and soda. Apr 12, 2010 | 10:15 pm

RamTalk

To the guy in the library saying that the mass of the Earth is variable: Did you graduate high school?
To the girl in the library who full-on grabbed her boyfriend’s butt while I was studying: Thanks for reminding me that I’m astute and painfully alone.
To the kid on his bike that escaped the bike cops: You’re a legend.
Doing chem ALEKS almost makes me want to drop college and work at McDonald’s.
Ramen: Forcing college students everywhere to learn to cook or die.

Apr 12, 2010 | 10:11 pm

RamTalk

Bunch of people protesting by not wearing shoes = best day ever for a person with a foot fetish. To the sprinkler that attacked me outside of Braiden the other day: That would have been a lot of fun if I had seen you coming. Does anyone else think wearing T-shirts that say “No soliciting” across the plaza is a great idea? I wonder if Silver Mine Subs gets more business now that it is across from a medical marijuana dispensary? Thank you to whoever was handing out free copies of Wild Animus. Apr 9, 2010 | 12:09 am

RamTalk

Is it rude to not say hello back to the teacher passing in the hall who remembers you but doesn’t remember giving you the ‘D’? What’s up with the plastic Sobe bottles? Apr 8, 2010 | 11:13 pm