The only thing better than seeing a group of bike cops staking out a hot spot is seeing the cop in his car waiting to back them up.

Apparently being able to check off every sex position your sexuality professor shows you doesn’t get you an automatic “A” on the test. To the girl that fell asleep mid-exam: Thanks for giving me the extra inspiration. Even if I ended up doing bad at least I finished the test. To all the professors giving out homework and suggesting we study over break: When did you study during your Spring Break in college? To whoever left a banana peel on the sidewalk: Haven’t you ever played Mario Kart? That could have really hurt somebody.