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Colorado to remain ‘bath salt’ and zombie free

Photography Editor, College Avenue

Cover of "The Zombie Survival Guide: Comp...

Governor John Hickenlooper signed a bill banning the use of cathinones, a new drug commonly referred to as “bath salts,” into law on Thursday. This makes Colorado one of many states who have decided to ban this dangerous new drug, along with the  U.S. Senate.

The man in Miami who was shot (four times) after eating another man’s face off, leading many to believe the zombie apocalypse had begun, is suspected to have been high on “bath salts.” A slew of these attacks have occurred across the nation, and the Zombie Survival Guide doesn’t have anything on “bath salts.” So now we’re all wondering:

“Is this the Zombie Apocalypse we were warned about?” Or is this just one of those rare occasions when pop culture and real news come together to create a sick, existential joke?” (from storiesbywilliam blog)

Cover of "Red Dawn (Collector's Edition)&...

Either way, Colorado is a great state to live in during these wild times. Have you ever seen the 1984 movie Red Dawn? It shows a Colorado mountain town reacting to a hostile invasion. The locals defend themselves admirably, and show off some tough Colorado spirit. And that is about how a zombie apocalypse would go; Coloradans would defend our mountain stronghold and fend off the zombies, maintaining civilization and second amendment rights, all without breaking a sweat.

While we are tough cookies here, it is good to know the governor has our back with a law against “bath salts.” The fewer zombies the better.

 

 

 

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About John Sheesley

John Sheesley is the Photography Editor for College Avenue Magazine. He is a student of Economics and Horticulture at CSU. John loves photography and bicycling, and is known to engage in political debate from time to time.